Not Saussure

October 24, 2006

Another major scientific discovery… densest element discovered

Filed under: usa — notsaussure @ 1:15 pm

New Element on Periodic Table

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Bushcronium.” Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is “W”. Bushcronium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”. When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

Media Matters – Altercation: Obama-rama


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2 Comments »

  1. you suck.
    that wasnt funny

    Comment by jon — April 9, 2007 @ 11:54 am

  2. Obviously jon is an assistant moron wannabe.
    On a more intellectual note, orders of magnitude above jon’s understanding, the atomic symbol “W” is already taken. It stands for the element tungsten. Why W and not T, you ask???
    Well tungsten used to be called wolfram, go figure. A better symbol for bushcronium might be Gw, which stands for nothing at all as far as I’m aware.
    Oh and by the way, jon, also spelled john is often used to refer to a toilet.

    Comment by Donald Penobscot — September 30, 2007 @ 4:46 pm


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