Marmite

Both Tim Worstall and Definition Britain have been discussing this fine savoury (which is, incidentally, being voted on at the moment as an Icon of Britain); being an addict of trash American horror stories and thrilers, I recently came across a somewhat unusual use for it in Fires of Eden, a somewhat insane story about Hawaian deities taking revenge on developers spoiling the place.

At one stage in the plot, the goodies have discovered an ancient spell that will enable them to visit the Hawaian underworld, which is absolutely essential to their plans for reasons too complex to explore here.

However, the spell involves coating yourself with strong-smelling substances to confuse the spirits you’ll there encounter; obviously the original recipe has traditional ingredients, but the beleagured heroes have to improvise, so they raid the hotel kitchens:

‘What’s it say on that little black jar?’ she asked.

Trumbo leaned closeer and read it in the flashlight beam. ‘Marmite,’ he said. ‘It’s this paste that some of our British guests like for breakfast on their toast and…’.

‘I know Marmite,’ said the woman. ‘I had me some in London once. It’s this black yeast stuff that smells like a mouse crawled in the jar and died a year or twi before. And it tastes worse. Better take that jar, too.

It certainly works to scare off the venegeful spirits, at least in the novel.